Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Day 76: My quest to get well

Day 76: day 75 post is up- I just didn't type "day 75" at the beginning.

Day 76 of what? Well 2 things. My quest to get well- really well. Time for the next phase in my 21-year journey in reclaiming every last shred of my health and leaving no stone unturned. And day 76 of the nutritional cleanse program I started on sept. 24.

Sept 23, my rhuematologist (after 21 years I'm still not sure how to spell that!) got my labs back and wrote me a prescription for oral chemo. I've been on it before. It's expensive, it gives me diarrhea and body odor, and increases risk of lymphoma, leukemia, and a fatal brain infection.
What's not to love?


And this is a "maintenance" drug- meaning the plan is usually to get and stay on it. (My eulogy: "how sad she died of a brain infection. We will all remember her for her songs, her humor, but most of all her BO and frequent bathroom trips").

All along I've believed that my illness was caused by something. Not sin, or genetics or bad luck (but thanks for those theories, well-meaning friends!), but plain old cause and effect. And so I think back to when things changed.

Certainly the year before I got sick was very stressful. But in my heart I know things changed several years before that, after my wisdom tooth extraction. I've always known that. I just finally found someone who could fix it!

I'm only halfway through the process (opened up then filled the 2 left cavitations), and it was no walk in the park. And yes my mouth hurts right now. But I've had much worse.

I look forward to filling the other 2 craters in my jaw, making it whole again. And having that be a big part of making me whole again.

I don't think I would be dealing with the aftermath as well if I hadn't spent the last 73 days eating super clean food. It's all a big puzzle. Hoping these are the last couple pieces.

I slept on the sofa last night and will again tonight, propped up to prevent hemorrhaging. Geez medical words are hard to spell! Enema! Ok not that one. Anyway I slept 12 hours (barely slept night before surgery - much anxiety) and today I got to eat.

And now for some mindless tv.

Carla
The Singing Patient
http://thesingingpatient.com/  
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