Monday, August 16, 2010

radioactive

Well, that was an adventure. I went in to the cancer center for the radioactive isotope test Friday.
I really don't like going to the cancer center. If my doctor wasn't so nice, I'd just stop going. It's a seriously difficult place to be. And I gotta say I feel really weird being the healthiest person in the place (not counting employees).

Right now, I'm feeling pretty good- thanks to PT, I'm pain-free and no pain meds for 2 weeks. I even recently managed to (at last) wean off my sleep med, after 4 years of taking it. So now all I'm taking is 1 blood pressure med, 2 herbs, and a multivitamin. Thanks to my gluten free mostly vegan diet, my hair and skin are healthier. And I don't weigh myself, but I seem to be a size smaller than I was last year. Maybe even 2 sizes. I'd like to stay feeling well. It never seems to last long. I'm doing everything in my power to get and stay healthy, and I don't want a setback.

So you can imagine that when walking the halls of the cancer center past people on stretchers that look like they are on their last gasps, I'm really hoping to not need the treatment that they're getting. I can't help feeling quite a bit of anxiety every time I walk in that place.

We had to wait 3 hours after the injection of radioactive isotope before I could get the test. So I decided to live out one of my odd little fantasies: I always wanted to take a nap in central Park. Because NY City is so freaking hectic, I just wondered what it would be like to be right in the middle of the most insane city on earth, and take a nap. I brought a blanket, and Joe and I did just that. (bucket list: check){note: if this is your fantasy too, I strongly suggest not doing this alone- and choose a heavily populated area and maybe wrap your purse strap around your leg }

Now back to the cancer hospital, where I nearly had a panic attack when they brought that bone scanner camera down to about 2 inches from my face and left it there running for 10 minutes. That and I knew I was getting exposed to radiation. Which, ironically, causes cancer. The whole test took about an hour. That's a lot of radiating.

A hour later, see the doctor, still can't make a definitive diagnosis- my tumor defies easy categorization, so we're going to xray it semi-regularly to make sure it's not growing. OK, fine.

Now I've spent the entire day getting this test and waiting for answers that didn't come, so I'm in dire need of comfort food. I remember a classmate from a creative writing class who said he had a restaurant in NYC that served nothing but mac and cheese- including gluten-free mac and cheese. Now if mac and cheese isn't comfort food i don't know what is. Couldn't remember the name of it, so i called a friend who looked it up online (no i don't have an iphone- i can't use that annoying screen to type). S'mac! That's the name of it. And yeah it was YUM, although my stomach was confused by the sudden bombardment of cheese. Next time I'll get the vegan gluten free mac and cheese- yes they have vegan too! The I asked if they had gluten free cookies and they said no, but there's a GF bakery on the next block!!! So we went I and had 3 miniature GF cupcakes! My Italian husband was so delighted to see me overeating...