Monday, June 17, 2013

Kale! How to not hate it

It's the most nutritious food known to man.
But if you don't now how to prepare it, it's the also most repulsive food known to man.

Trust me, I know.
I'm a lousy cook.
I'm such a lousy cook even my trash can says "No really, I'm stuffed. I can't eat another bite. Try the garbage disposal. He looks hungry."

But, I got wind of how nutritious kale was, and I'm always looking for ways to naturally improve my health. So, I went and bought a big bunch of green curly-looking leaf kale at the grocery store.
And I cut it up, tossed it in a bowl, but some salad dressing and it was.... DISGUSTING!
I made myself eat it, but blech! Never again.

I told some friends about my awful kale debacle, and they said "Oh, you have to remove the stems."  OK, I can do that. "And then you have to massage the salad dressing into the kale leaves." Massage my food? Seriously? If I'm not getting a massage, you're darn tootin my food isn't getting a massage- especially when I'm still not really sure I'm going to enjoy the taste of it any more than the first time I ate it, without its "massage." So I didn't even try that, but I did have kale salad at Whole Foods, and realized, okay, if you put enough garlic on it, you can't taste the kale.

So I bought another bunch of kale. And decided to make kale chips. I watched a video on youtube. It looked so easy and sounded so tasty. Mine were... charcoal chips. Burnt.

OK, one more try. And this bunch had a recipe on it- on the tag hanging off the twist-tie.
I tried the recipe and... it was edible! I have since tweaked it, and now- dare I say it- it's practically delicious.

Here it is. Sorry it's not real specific about amounts, but
1) it depends on how much kale you're using and
2) that's just how I roll (might explain the lousy cook thing)

Rip kale leaves off stems (my dog loves kale stems, by the way).
Wash kale thoroughly.
Steam kale until it is bright green but not completely wilted.

stir in a bowl with:
- splash of olive oil
- teaspoon or 2 of fresh lemon juice (OK you can use bottled)
- couple forkfuls of minced garlic (I used the kind in a jar so it's not too strong)
- few dashes of salt
- sauteed onions (optional, but really turns it from just OK to actually tasty)

Serve alone as a side dish or on top of a tortilla with hummus on it.

Even my vegetable-phobe husband likes kale when it's cooked this way.

Carla Ulbrich

The Singing Patient: Author, Health Speaker, Humorous Songwriter and Entertainer - Carla's book "How Can You NOT Laugh at a Time Like This?" funny medical songs