Monday, October 5, 2015

Having a Life When You Have an Illness

It's funny, being in "show biz," how most of us who have a chronic illness are secretive about it (I was for years) and are in fact, usually more reliable than artists who don't have an illness.

Back in 2002, I got up and did a show after I'd just had a stroke. My left hand wasn't working. I just sucked it up, told some stories and jokes and thudded along on the guitar with the few notes I was able to hit. I'm very stubborn...

For years now, I've been swinging back and forth between the two extremes of being a hypochondriac ("I broke a nail! Oh Lord- it's the lupus!") to being in total denial ("I haven't been able to feel my foot for 3 days. It'll pass. It's just lupus.") I think (I hope) I've finally found a balance, where I am able to live my dreams and keep my health.

Sometimes I have to binge-sleep after several long, tough days of too much work and not enough sleep, but I'm able to stay healthy, off the immune suppressants, and be creative and live a full life.

The truth is, if I'd never gotten ill, I'd have never had the courage to leave the unrewarding but "safe" world of retail and pursue my secret (even to me) dreams of sharing my songs with the world.

So here's a one of my non-medical funny songs about relationships. Because I don't want my whole life to be about being sick or not being sick. There's more to me- more to all of us- than that.