Just found the lupus magazine, an online magazine with some great articles.
This one article on The apathy of loved ones really resonated with me. I think I know at least one person in every single category. As infuriating as it is, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who's dealt with these appalling behaviors.
http://www.thelupusmagazine.com/y-kim-nault.html
3 comments:
I am not sure that the problem is apathy on the part of our loved ones. When you have lupus it feels like having the flu for years. That's inceiveable for most people.
Loved ones often want to help but don't know what to do for us. Frequently, we fail to let them know what we want and need.
Our fear of losing independence or facing the losses brought about by lupus may lead us to reject the help of loved ones, and pretty soon they stop trying.
What we may perceive as apathy may be a symptoms of a more complicated problem.
Yes, I agree, sometimes we compound a problem by not asking for help.
But sometimes people want to blame the victim for their circumstance, as in when someone said to me i must be sick because I had a hidden sin in my life. I'm not sure that's apathy as much as fear, but whatever it is, it comes off as rather cruel and insensitive.
I could cite other instances where people have been unkind, but the person who wrote this article did a really nice job of addressing those behaviors, and like you, I'd rather focus on the one thing I can change- my own part in not getting the help I need. Something healthy people are also guilty of (especially women)- not asking for help!
Thank you for this link. Passing it on to my lupie support group.
Post a Comment