Dancing My Butt Off

People have been asking me about my weight loss "secret." No, I am not taking phen phen. I'm taking tap dance lessons. I don't know how good I am yet at the shuffle ball change but I've certainly had a shuffle butt change. My husband appreciates the change, but I'm not sure how my next door neighbors are enjoying the tap dancing...

When I watch shows like this Biggest Loser (actually I don't watch that...) or Celebrity Fit Club (is that still on?)... anyway, on those weight loss TV reality shows, the contestants are often doing long hikes or pushing around huge tires, or literally dragging around a ball and chain like an old school prisoner. They lose weight very fast and it makes for great TV. But like most "reality" TV, it's not realistic.

Does anyone really think once the show is over that these folks are going to buy a huge tire and push it around the yard, or get a ball and chain and run around the public park with it? I always thought the time would be better spent helping them find an exercise that suits them and that they enjoy and will stick with. There are so many ways to get in shape, and none of it has to be drudgery. Why not let them try all kinds of sports and activities, like tennis, running, hiking, yoga, line dancing, aerobic dancing, basketball- or even just ask them what they liked to do physically when they were kids?

When I had a stroke, kidney failure and congestive heart failure in 2002, my feet and legs were swollen, filled with water. I couldn't wear shoes. I couldn't even wear jeans, because by the end of the day my ankles would swell up so big that the one time I wore jeans I had to literally cut them off of my because my ankles were so big.

My legs were weak and useless. So I swam. My arms were strong and I always loved swimming. A first I just got in and hung on to the wall and kicked. And I walked very short distances. I mean like to the stop sign and back, like 1/10 mile at first. But all along, while I made these tiny steps of progress, my dream and my promise to myself was that when I got better, I would learn to tap dance. I have always loved aerobic dance and I had several years of ballet and one year of tap when I was a kid.

Tap dance was on my bucket list. It took a while, but I'm finally doing it. I had to get fit first, so I started with Richard Simmons videos. In fact, I started with doing just one song on a Richard Simmons video. (Here's my blog post from 2 years ago when I met Richard Simmons and attended his aerobics class http://lupusandhumor.blogspot.com/2011_03_30_archive.html ).

Eventually, the Richard video was too easy and I found a line dance video that was harder. Finally I was fit enough to go get some tap lessons. I'm not really a natural. It has taken me 2 months to learn to do a pirouette without falling over. But when I get decent at it, I'll post you a video right here of me tap dancing.

So I don't really watch the scale. Once every week or 2 I step on it to make sure I haven't been overeating or under-dancing. But I've dropped 2 sizes without really trying and I'm stronger and I'm learning a skill- a fun skill.

What does fun exercise look like for you? Dance? Polo? Gymnastics? Hiking? Biking? Ping Pong?

Carla
P.S. Here's a song from a time I lost TOO much weight. But not from exercising. From being sick, then taking diuretics (for my kidneys) while on a strict diet.  

From the CD

Carla Ulbrich

The Singing Patient:
www.youtube.com/user/carlaulbrich

Exercise, Pacing yourself, and Richard Simmons

I committed myself last summer to getting serious about regular exercise, and getting stronger. I had to be patient with myself, and let myself take breaks, work incrementally, and listen to my body. And I love how I feel after a great workout.

Unfortunately, when I've been in the middle of a lupus flare, fast-paced, sweaty aerobic workouts were not an option. I missed them a lot. They were a great stress reliever, fun, and of course good for me.

Pushing too hard too fast can lead to worse than sore muscles or injury; it could set off a lupus flare for me, or leave me in fibromyalgia pain for several days.

One other consideration: I also had to pick a workout I like.
I love music. I love to dance.  So one of my "when I'm better" fantasies was to be able to again do the aerobics record (yes, record! an LP!) that I used to do when I was 15. I loved that record. I forget the title of it, but it was Joanie Greggains and it had all kind of great music on it: Hall and Oates, BeeGees, Village People. Not on my top 10 favorite albums of all time, but great music for working out. And way better than that boring drum-synthesizer non-music track on most music videos these days.

Of course, after I had a stroke in 2002, I couldn't even get up and down one stair, never mind do aerobics. So back then I started really small. I got in the pool and kicked around. Then when I could get up and down the one stair to the outdoors by myself, I went for short walks. To the stop sign and back. A few yards further each day, with my cane, never far from the house, just in case I fell. I worked on it a little every day. Eventually I could climb stairs and get around normally, without a cane.

Fast forward about 2 years. I found a copy of that Joanie record on ebay and Joe transferred it to CD for me. But there was no way I could do the workout. I mean I was literally crawling up the stairs on all fours at that time. How was I ever going to be doing jumping jacks, leg lifts, and running in place? I tried it anyway, in a moment of pure wishful thinking/ delusion, but I just could not get through it and I ended up with a big migraine.

So I started out just walking. Brisk a walk as I could do, which for me was one 20 minute mile. I know that's not fast, but that's what I could do. Me and my ipod, with David Lee Roth singing "Just a Gigolo," looping around the neighborhood. After I eliminated dairy from my diet, I had more energy and I threw in short little passages of jogging. Bolstered by my newfound energy, I decided to try the Denise Austin "Fat Burning Blast" 25-minute workout that I used to do (on VHS). Aimed too high again. Needed percocet that night. Back to the walk/ jogs.

Then I remembered Richard Simmons. His videos don't have a lot of jumping around, and that jumping was what always aggravates my system. So I got his Disco video (great tunes!). And at first, I just did one song. Because it takes me time to learn all the moves, and I had no stamina. Then two songs. And after a couple months I could get through the entire workout.

After sweating with Richard all summer, I went back and did the Denise Austin video and now I could handle it just fine! So, I added in a Dancing with the Stars video to the mix. Wow, that was hard. I had to stop the video and catch my breath a few times. But no pain. It took a while, but now I can get through the first 2 dances (that's 30 minutes of swing and jive) without much trouble. So... it was time for the ultimate test: Joanie Greggains! I put on the CD, and Yes! I did it! And I felt fine. It was challenging, but I did not need percocet or any other remedy afterwards.

People whose lupus is not under control have to be even more gentle and more careful. It's important to move. It's important to be wise. It's also important to hope and to try.

And it was patience, persistence, listening to my body, and Richard Simmons and his totally doable workouts with fun songs that made it doable for me. Dare to dream big, but start small and check in with yourself.

Yours in health-
Carla

Carla Ulbrich

The Singing Patient: Author, Humorous Songwriter and Entertainer
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www.thesingingpatient.com- performance  info and dates
www.youtube.com/user/carlaulbrich - funny songs
www.twitter.com/singingpatient
www.linkedin.com/in/carlaulbrich

"I am reading Carla's book How Can You NOT Laugh at a Time Like This? and loving it. I LOVE Carla's songwriting, so I'm not surprised that her prose writing is as smart, funny, and insightful as her music." - Christine Lavin

http://tinyurl.com/348hroc- Carla's book

My encounter with Richard Simmons!

Dear bucket list,
You are now one item shorter. I had a *lot* of fun on  my 2- week tour of the West Coast, but this was the absolute highlight: taking a class at Richard Simmons' Aerobic studio! (Yes, he's still alive!) :D

Not only is Richard alive and well, he's 62 and he's in better shape than almost everyone I know. He still teaches classes at his "Slimmons" studio in Beverly Hills (when he's in town), and I was lucky enough to be in town when he was there.

Now first of all, I had to borrow sneakers (thank you, Karen Nash! So glad we are the same size and I disagree, 7 1/2 is not big!). I left my sneaks at a friend's house at my previous stop in Niles, CA. Stayed up too late jamming the night before I left, flaked out. I was standing on the sidewalk talking on my cell phone to my friend in Niles, making sure that my shoes were, in fact, at his house, when a big black car rolled up, and Richard popped out and yelled "GET OFF THAT PHONE GIRL!" Seriously!  I totally did - I was so surprised I pretty much just hung up on my friend (apologies to Michael McNevin- I explained later).

Then Richard ran up, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and introduced himself. He then entered the building and greeted every single person there with a hug and a kiss and let me tell you it's no small class when Richard is there. He kissed a lot of cheeks, and he knows every person there.

Yes, he still wears striped shorts. His tank tops have "bling" on them now. And check it out. He still uses a record player to teach class:

He uses *real* songs, something I've always loved about his fitness videos (don't you just hate those aerobics videos with repetitious drum beats and synthesizers and no lyrics, no melody? Boring!!) But not Richard. He has great taste in music.

At one point, he had a Sheryl Crow song ("All I wanna do") and I think he was playing it at 78. It was like double-speed and sounded like the chipmunks. It was hilarious.

Here's something I didn't expect: in class, he swears a lot! Now there's a bonus you can't get on the DVDs! And when he's leading class, he kind of looks deranged. It was crowded as heck, I couldn't see or hear the cues (I just followed whoever was close to me who looked like they knew what they were doing), he blasts the music so loud I wished at one point I had earplugs.. And I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT!

I'm telling you he could have had me jog around the room for an hour and I still would have been grinning from ear to ear. He's so charismatic and enthusiastic. And I guess I'm infatuated. That helps.

Those of you who have read my book already know Richard is one of my big inspirations in life. But I got some surprised reactions from others when they saw how excited I was about meeting Richard. You would think I was about to meet a giant rock star. I was babbling and gushing.

I think the world of this man. Not because he is famous. Not because he's kooky and a little nuts (something I do admire). And not just because he conquered his own demons and has lost and kept off the weight for decades- he lives what he preaches. But most of all, I admire this man because he uses everything he learned from his own battles with weight and self-esteem to help others, and he does it in a way that is consistently loving, supportive, non-judmental, inclusive, caring and FUN.

As you can see, I need to drop 20 pounds myself, but here's a guy who encourages you to have fun and love yourself along the way. Don't ever change, Richard!

(Want to go to Richard's studio? Class was only $12! http://tinyurl.com/lknvzh )

Carla Ulbrich, The Singing Patient,
is the author of "How Can You *Not* Laugh at a Time Like This?"
Get Carla's Book at Amazon.com
www.thesingingpatient.com