I've just returned from the AATH conference. AATH stands for Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor. http://www.aath.org
You'll note by the name that, yes, they promote humor, but they also specify that it be therapeutic. Meaning it helps, not harms. Anyone who spent any time on the school playground knows that humor can be harmful and even cruel. But humor can also uplift and even break the spell of sadness and despair.
Humor was a tremendous help to me at the worst points in my illness, and continues to be that spice that makes every day a little better, and every person I meet easier to get to know.
So how do we use humor in a way that is safe and helpful? My thoughts at the moment are these:
- Create distance. Comedy is pain plus distance. The distance can be time or just gaining a new perspective on things; looking at things from a distance, even though they are recent or even ongoing. You may have heard that comedian Gilbert Gottfried was fired from his gig as voice of the AFLAC duck because he made jokes about the Japan Tsunami very shortly after it happened. As they say in the comedy clubs " Too soon!" There wasn't any distance yet. And some things are never funny. Which brings us to:
- Stick to what you know personally. Do not make fun of other people's problems if you have not been there. I don't make jokes about being black (because I'm not), or Jewish (I'm also not), or even any illnesses I haven't been through. it's very important to me that I stick to my own experiences so that the audience knows I am not mocking their pain. I can make fun of my pain, or of situations, or of groups that I belong to (Southerners, insomniacs, women, musicians, people with lupus)- as long as I'm speaking in terms of "we." Look, we've all done enough stupid stuff in our lifetimes to write hours of comedy. We don't need to make things up.
- Use comedy to build up and unite, not to tear down and make one person or group superior to another. Put-down comedy (Don Rickles, Lisa Lampanelli) can be undeniably funny, but it makes me feel icky afterwards. I think some comedy is just kind of neutral, like Seinfeld and Jeff Foxworthy (observational comedy that points out the absurdities in life)- it doesn't harm anyone, but it isn't particularly view-changing. Making people laugh has enough value in itself, especially when you can do so without harming anyone. But then there is humor that is not only funny, but therapeutic. It actually makes you see things differently (Christopher Titus). I hope I can become one of those people. Someone who makes a point with their comedy- educates, enlightens, gives hope.
Who are some comedians who you think are making a positive difference with their humor?
Carla Ulbrich, The Singing Patient,
is the author of "How Can You *Not* Laugh at a Time Like This?"
Get Carla's Book at Amazon.com
www.thesingingpatient.com
You'll note by the name that, yes, they promote humor, but they also specify that it be therapeutic. Meaning it helps, not harms. Anyone who spent any time on the school playground knows that humor can be harmful and even cruel. But humor can also uplift and even break the spell of sadness and despair.
Humor was a tremendous help to me at the worst points in my illness, and continues to be that spice that makes every day a little better, and every person I meet easier to get to know.
So how do we use humor in a way that is safe and helpful? My thoughts at the moment are these:
- Create distance. Comedy is pain plus distance. The distance can be time or just gaining a new perspective on things; looking at things from a distance, even though they are recent or even ongoing. You may have heard that comedian Gilbert Gottfried was fired from his gig as voice of the AFLAC duck because he made jokes about the Japan Tsunami very shortly after it happened. As they say in the comedy clubs " Too soon!" There wasn't any distance yet. And some things are never funny. Which brings us to:
- Stick to what you know personally. Do not make fun of other people's problems if you have not been there. I don't make jokes about being black (because I'm not), or Jewish (I'm also not), or even any illnesses I haven't been through. it's very important to me that I stick to my own experiences so that the audience knows I am not mocking their pain. I can make fun of my pain, or of situations, or of groups that I belong to (Southerners, insomniacs, women, musicians, people with lupus)- as long as I'm speaking in terms of "we." Look, we've all done enough stupid stuff in our lifetimes to write hours of comedy. We don't need to make things up.
- Use comedy to build up and unite, not to tear down and make one person or group superior to another. Put-down comedy (Don Rickles, Lisa Lampanelli) can be undeniably funny, but it makes me feel icky afterwards. I think some comedy is just kind of neutral, like Seinfeld and Jeff Foxworthy (observational comedy that points out the absurdities in life)- it doesn't harm anyone, but it isn't particularly view-changing. Making people laugh has enough value in itself, especially when you can do so without harming anyone. But then there is humor that is not only funny, but therapeutic. It actually makes you see things differently (Christopher Titus). I hope I can become one of those people. Someone who makes a point with their comedy- educates, enlightens, gives hope.
Who are some comedians who you think are making a positive difference with their humor?
Carla Ulbrich, The Singing Patient,
is the author of "How Can You *Not* Laugh at a Time Like This?"
Get Carla's Book at Amazon.com
www.thesingingpatient.com
6 comments:
Well, you definitely are. In a very concrete way! I've been feeling very guilty lately because I bought and read your book some time ago and haven't, till now, gotten around to thanking you and telling you how much I enjoyed it! It's GREAT!! I laughed at the very first page--out loud. I didn't really expect it to be laugh-out-loud funny, but it was--throughout. You're a master of the punchline. I love the short chapters format--just right for reading in bed while waiting for nighttime pain meds to kick in. Your personal experiences, insights, empathy, wisdom and creative, constructive thoughts on dealing with lupus helped change my thought patterns. All that giggling in bed felt really good too. It helped me relax so I could fall asleep. I only wish it was longer (and it's pretty long already!). I was bummed out to reach the end. So glad for this blog and your presence elsewhere online for my Lupus & Humor 'daily dose.' Also want to mention the quality of production on this book. The feel of the paper, the choice of font, the sweet bunny slipper drawings, the soft colors--it all comes together into one really nice little package. A surprisingly good value--far nicer than I expected anyway. Very impressive achievement for a first-time author. BRAVO. And thanks.
When I was 19, I had a transformative experience. I spent the night in a Tee Pee (yes a real Tee Pee) and wrote down what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I decided to only have pointed humor from now on.
This is probably why mostly I am funny by accident and not usually on purpose. I decided that unpointed humor was unfunny. So I ended it on that day. I have to wonder if anyone noticed. I was a very ernest young person at the time. Very serious joker, if you take my meaning.
On the other hand 30 years later I still only want to use pointed humor. I really made a life changing decision that night.
hi Wendy- wow thanks so much for all the wonderful comments! i passed it on to my publisher, since they were the ones responsible for the beautiful cover. So glad your funny bone was tickled by the book!
myrafly- that is really interesting. so by unpointed humor, you mean humor with no point to it?
Hi Just hoppin by,Great Blog.
Love this post, I think we really have to open ourselves up to humor and the joy and real healing that it brings. Thanks for this!
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