how much too reveal

Some folks are very open about their illnesses. others refuse to discuss it. i can understand both sides of this. at first, i talked openly about having lupus. but i had so many negative reactions, with folks basically blaming me for getting sick, or worrying it was contagious, or treating me differently, or thinking i was a hypochondriac. One friend even told me to “get over it” because i’d been talking about it for like a year. (well, I still had it, i was still trying to come to terms with it, and those feelings were no less intense one year after diagnosis than they were one week after diganosis.)

I've learned I can’t expect people to get it if they haven’t had to deal with a serious illness. Trying to explain having to budget your energy to someone who's never been ill is like trying to explain to a trust fun baby why you can't just take off work and go to Mexico whenever you like. So, I choose where and where and to whom i speak about this. oddly, i find i can be very open about it online and people don’t attack me online. Usually people are polite in real life and rude online where they can be anonymous, but in the case of illness, i find it to be quite the opposite, because people are frightened by their own mortality and vulnerability, and we are walking reminders of both.

So while i may have come to terms with having lupus, I realize the rest of the world has a long way to go in coming to terms with their own vulnerabilities. My not talking about lupus openly amongst "earth people" has nothing to do with my own acceptance of the illness, as much as not wanting to subject myself to the weird and sometimes cruel responses of others. Which is something I have accepted.

just say no to... vaccines.

when i tell my friends i refuse to get any more vaccines, they think i’m art of the lunatic fringe when i say that these things were grown in monkey tissues and cancer tissues.well whether I'm a lunatic or not is a completely separate subject. But on this subject of vaccines and immunity, I *read*! I read a *lot*. my life depends on my being informed. i’ve had 3 major episodes with my illness. i dont’ know what set off the initial disease (though my theory is environmental toxins, poor diet, and extreme stress), but *both* of the second 2 flares came shortly after getting a spider bite, then going to the dr and getting a tetanus shot. coincidence? I think not.

According to the book ”the autoimmune epidemic,” the rate of autoimmune disease has *tripled* since 1970, and only in industrialized nations. this is *not* a genetic illness. we really have to stop blaming everything on genetics. i think people do that because it relieves them of all responsibility for their own care.

We can’t afford to leave our lives and well being in the care of doctors. They are overburdened and cannot take that kind of responsibility. Anyone who leaves me in the waiting room for 45 minutes after my appointment time then charges me $200 for 8 minutes of their time and rushes me out the door does not deserve that kind of power in my life. They're not paying enough attention to make the decision as to whether i change my diet, do acupuncture, etc. I only talk to them about my pills and anything that might interact with my pills (and i read the freakin' tome of side effects and warnings that comes with each bottle of pills). I don't *reject* conventional medicine, as I would be dead if i did not accept their help and take drugs to control my illness. but i do not allow them to rule my every decision. They are very limited in what they can do to help regarding a chronic illness, and i know that. They know that. So after they stop me from dying, I go elsewhere to actually feel better and regain energy.

I also want to speak out against getting pets vaccinated repeatedly. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that pets are now developing things like leukemia, lupus and cancer. My cat died of bone cancer in 2002, about 8 days after i got out of the hospital.

Vaccines by nature are not sanitary. They are grown in monkey tissues and cancer cells! ew! There are those in the scientific community who say that the AIDs epidemic in san francisco was cause by the mass vaccination of the gay community against hepatitis (read "AIDs and Its Metaphors."). A growing number of parents are refusing to vaccinate their children. Many believe that SIDs (sudden infant death) the epidemic of autism are linked to vaccines. While there are a few vaccines that are still important (measles, mumps, rubella), most vaccines are unnecessary, and overload our bodies with mercury as well as an onslaught of germs and viruses. Children are given as many as 20 vaccines by age two.

Seventten young women have died and a Michigan high school student developed lupus after receiving the new gardasil ("anti-cancer") vaccine. What good does it do to protect against the slight possibility of cervical cancer if you develop lupus from the vaccine? (or die?!) http://www.mlive.com/flintjournal/index.ssf/2008/08/flint_teen_becomes_center_of_d.html

In this country our immune system is already being assaulted with stress, pollution, and crappy processed food. We don't need more toxins directly injected into us. Our immune systems are getting plenty challenged already.

If you are a parent who does not want to over-vaccinate your child, you can either home-school or refuse the vaccines "for religious reasons."