Friday, May 13, 2011

Glutinous maximus

At my most recent book-signing, during the question-and-answer section of the evening, someone asked me "If you don't eat gluten, what's left to eat?"

I do appreciate her candor, because I wondered the same thing at first. On the other hand, it left me wondering, how much wheat is this woman eating that if you cut out wheat there's nothing left? Talk about a gluten-ous maximus!

Of course it says more about our culture's food habits than any one individual. There is so much wheat in the American diet, it's hard to imagine living without good old regular bread. Sure, man can't live on bread alone, but how does man live without bread at all?

Things have come a long, long way since the first time I went gluten free in 1994. Then, if you wanted some straight up carbs, it was rice cakes, rice cakes, and more rice cakes. Now, I'm pleased to inform you, there are all kind of options in both the grocery store and even in some restaurants. Amy's makes a frozen rice crust pizza that is at many grocery stores. Bob's Red Mill makes a dough mix you can use to cook up your own fresh pizza at home, as well as a bread mix that is really fantastic; Udi's makes delicious GF bagels and bread; I've even seen gluten-free bread crumbs in the grocery store; Uno's Chicago grill serves GF pizza on their menu; PF Chang's has a tasty gluten-free Chinese menu; there are numerous GF bakeries popping up around the country. (find GF restaurants here: http://www.allergyeats.com/ )

I also just learned about a gluten-free expo in October in Dallas, for those feeling adventurous: http://gfafexpo.com/

And here is a very popular gluten-free blog I just found: http://www.adventuresofaglutenfreemom.com/

That being said, remember that a lot of the healthiest food you can eat is already naturally gluten-free, so don't forget to include in your meals some brown rice, beans, nuts (assuming you don't have nut allergies), fruits and vegetables, even fish in your GF diet. Oh, and rice cakes. :D

One more point that came up at the book signing: no, I do not believe the entire country needs to be gluten-free. In Europe, where there is far more awareness of gluten sensitivity, about 20% of the population is diagnosed with Celiac disease or gluten intolerance. Here, it is only 1%. So, we probably have about 19% of the population running around undiagnosed, thinking their problems are genetic or random, not realizing they are caused by consuming gluten. So, I do think that anyone with chronic health conditions might want to try being strictly gluten-free for a month and keep a symptom log. If it makes a difference, then consider staying gluten-free.

For those of us already committed to being GF, there's really no need to feel sorry for ourselves because we can't have gluten. There's a substitute for nearly every gluten-laden food out there. On top of that, if we've identified the one ingredient that we can eliminate, and thereby drastically improve our health, we are fortunate. Now get off your glutenous maximus and find yourself some tasty GF food! :)

Carla Ulbrich, The Singing Patient,
is the author of "How Can You *Not* Laugh at a Time Like This?"
Get Carla's Book at Amazon.com
www.thesingingpatient.com

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

It's Never Lupus? May 10 is World Lupus Day

If I hear "It's never lupus" one more time I'm going to personally track down the writers of House MD and force them to clean my toilets with their tongues. And we have 3 toilets.

I have a few questions for these writers:
Why are you running an anti-awareness campaign? Would you do this for any other equally terrible disease? Would you say "It's never cancer?" or "It's never MS?" or "It's never Parkinson's?"
How about "It's never a heart attack?" No, because if this were a comedy club, you'd be booed off the stage.

Why does anyone think "it's never lupus" is funny? My only guess is that it's because the word "lupus" sounds funny, like dodo bird or cuckoo clock. I wish we could rename the disease to better reflect how awful it is. How about "crapstorm?" No, still too funny.

It's never lupus... Having had lupus for 20 years now, I've had it cause anemia, kidney failure, stroke, hair loss, weight loss, congestive heart failure... oh, I guess none of that ever happened either.

I was watching House MD- the episode where the patient was in Antartica in a lab and had to be examined by House long-distance, over teleconference. While he was brainstorming about all the possible things she could be suffering from, one of the things House guessed was... LUPUS!!! (this coming from Mr "it's never lupus!"). But in order to keep their running "joke" intact, they referred to it as "SLE." (systemic lupus erythmatosis). Nice way to have your cake and eat it too, a-holes.

Because there are 1.5 million people or more in the US alone with lupus, it's just a matter of time before someone on the House MD writing staff (or someone in their family) develops lupus. I don't wish it on them, but the odds are good. Oh wait, I forgot, there's no such thing as lupus.

What a relief then. I'll just stop getting blood tests and chalk up my years of symptoms (and by "symptoms," I mean stroke, kidney failure, congestive heart failure) to hypochondria. Or maybe it was psychosomatic. In which case, if kidney failure is psychosomatic, then everything is. Cancer, MS, all of it.

And the world is flat, and we never landed on the moon.

"It's never lupus?"- it's never funny.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Prednisone

In honor of lupus awareness month, today's topic is the drug almost all of us with lupus are faced with having to take: prednisone.

Or as some of us pred-vets call it, dreadnisone.

It is used for everything- rashes, asthma, sarcoidosis, inflammation of any kind.
If they don't know what to do, throw prednisone at it. And it often works.
The problem is the side effects. And side effects seems like such a dainty word for things like osteoporosis, cataracts, diabetes, hair loss, obesity- is it really just a "side effect" when it can be classified as a disease?

Yes, prednisone saved my life. But if I had stayed on it, I would have ended up with even more health problems.

But what I really want to know is this:
Why, when my cat and I were both on prednisone (he had a flea allergy)- why, I want to know, was his cherry-flavored while mine tasted like Ajax? Discuss amongst yourselves, and sing along to the prednisone song:



Monday, May 2, 2011

May is lupus awareness month

How do I say this? Happy lupus awareness month? That seems really inappropriate. We're not really celebrating the fact that this disease exists. On top of that, I'm a day late in getting started commemorating the beginning of this month.

I think we're finally getting it together. For a while, October was lupus awareness month. Then it was October for some lupus groups and May for others. And it was purple ribbons for some lupus groups and orange for others (I think that's still the case). And then there's House, MD. He's no help at all. I'll save him for another blog.

All that aside, here we are. For a disease that has over 1.5 million people diagnosed, lupus still needs some serious help in the awareness department. One of the reasons we need awareness is to cut down on the odd reactions we get from other people when we're finally diagnosed.

The comments I got when I was first diagnosed ranged from hurtful to just weird. Here I present to you, from my book (How Can You *Not* Laugh at a Time Like This?," The Top 10 Annoying Things to Say to Someone Who's Just Been Diagnosed.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Product review and giveaway: Pain Relief Cream "Topricin"

Welcome to the first-ever product review/ giveaway on this blog!
The product we're reviewing and giving away (one gift basket only) is Topricin, a homeopathic pain relief cream.

I've been using it myself for the last few days. Conveniently (or not, depending on how you look at it), I've had significant discomfort this week after driving 800 miles in one day (by myself). So I had some legitimate pain to try out this cream on. And I gotta say, it really helped.

One the pain scale of 0-10 (zero being "no pain at all" and 10 being "i'm going to jump off a roof if this pain doesn't stop!"), I'd say for me this cream is completely effective all the way up to an 8-level pain. If something is 9 or 10, I'll try the cream first, then if it doesn't work, resort to taking advil or some other pill out of my cabinet.

Because no pharmaceutical or over-the-counter drugs are without risk (or side effects), I am always in favor of finding a more natural solution to life's little problems (and the big ones, too).

Topricin is all natural. Being homeopathic, it works with your body to heal the source of the pain, rather than only suppressing symptoms. Although it does also relieve symptoms.

The website suggests using it for some very painful conditions, including fibromyalgia, plantar fasciitis, carpal tunnel and neuropathy.

Topricin, from what I can tell, comes in 3 formulas:
1) general pain relief cream
2) "junior" pain relief (for kids)
3) foot pain relief

They are available in tubes, tubs, or "single serving" packets (great for travel/ in your purse or backpack). It's non-greasy and has no smell. I give it 2 thumbs up!

So, I have this big beautiful basket of topricin to give away!



How to enter:
  1. Mandatory:  In order to enter to win, just leave a comment on this post. Don't forget to include your email address (ex: SpiffyStuffBlog at gmail dot com --like this to avoid spamming from bots).  You can't win if I can't contact you.  ;)  This counts as one entry.
  2. Optional:  
    1. visit me on youtube (www.youtube.com ), find a song of mine that made you laugh, and come back here to tell us all about it in a comment. Again, don't forget to include your email address
    2.  Instead of limiting this contest to those who follow my blog, I'm going to make following this blog a separate entry.  Make a separate post saying that you follow this blog.  Again, don't forget to include your email address.  This counts as one entry.
    3. "Like" (hit the "like" button) Carla's music page on facbeook (http://www.facebook.com/ ) Please post your Facebook username (probably just your full name) so we can verify this entry.  Again, please include your email address.  This counts as one entry.
    4. Advertise this contest: A Tweet, a Facebook mention, a blog post about this contest on your own blog, anything like this would count as an additional, separate entry.  Be sure to post links or usernames so that your shout-out can be verified.  And finally--don't forget to include your email address.
This contest will close promptly at 10:00 p.m. EDST on Wednesday, May 18, 2011.

Shortly thereafter I will pick a winner based on their post number which will be picked by the free number generator at Random.org.  I will post the winner here for all the world to see, and notify the winner to see where/how to ship your fabulous gift basket of Topricin.  Once the winner has been confirmed, we'll send the prize your way.   

Meanwhile, you can visit the website of this giveaway's sponsor right here:
http://www.topricin.com/


Carla Ulbrich, The Singing Patient,
is the author of "How Can You *Not* Laugh at a Time Like This?"
Get Carla's Book at Amazon.com
www.thesingingpatient.com