Being normal is overrated- or is it?

"I just want to be normal."
There are a few times in life that make us say that
1) being in Junior high school
2) lying around in pain after being diagnosed with something chronic and incurable

Junior high school aside, I never wanted to be normal. Exceptional, yes. Strange and wacky, definitely. Outstanding, indeed. Memorable, talented, funny, smart, anything but normal. Up until I got sick. Then, suddenly, "normal" started looking pretty good.

I recently went through 6 months' worth of PT for tendinitis, and I'm much stronger in my back and arms now. I also did some sessions for my back,  because for years I've been crawling up the stairs, as my legs would not support me. Now I am in the kind of shape that most normal people are in when they show up to start a fitness regimen. I've graduated from "remedial" to "normal."

But naturally, once I got back from being "sickly and weak" to "normal," my desire to be exceptional resurfaced, and I am again dissatisfied with being simply "normal."

First I want to tell my friends with chronic illnesses that it is possible to get back to feeling "normal." And if that is your goal, 1) it's attainable and 2) it is a worthy goal, and if you stop at that, I got no problem with it.

Sometimes, you're falling apart so fast you're just trying to not die.
Like, the three times I've gone into kidney failure- my muscles started wasting away, I got so weak I couldn't get up and down the one stair to the outside of the house.
And I gotta say, the hospital is certainly no place to get in any better shape.
How can you regain your strength when they don't want you to leave your bed?
Prisoners have a better shot at getting healthy than hospital patients.
I hobbled into an emergency room once with chronic pain (and kidney failure) and after a week in a hospital bed, I couldn't even stand up without a cane and -no lie- a giant leash around my waist.

Add to that the fact that stress can trigger any illness, and you do have this worry in the back of your mind that if you work out too hard, you're going to end up sick all over again.

Add to that the pain factor (who wants to exert themselves when it hurts enough just sitting around?), and you've got a mess of challenges to overcome.

I have gone from very sick and weak to "normal" 3 times now, and this 3rd time was with the aid of Physical Therapy, but the other 2 times I did it on my own. The first time, I started with walking. I'd set a goal to go just a little further every day, starting with just going to the stop sign and back. When I got up to about 2 miles, I joined a gym, where I used a stationary bicycle (I rode so slowly that it cut off because I guess it thought no one was riding it, but you gotta start somewhere!). Then I joined a bicycle club (I was the slowest one in the club, and was usually riding way behind everyone else- but the key was to measure my progress against what I could do the week or month before, not against what others were doing). As long as I saw progress, I was happy with myself.

The second time I got sick and got better, I was too weak to walk. My legs were blown up with water retention from the congestive heart failure, so instead I got in the pool and held onto the side and kicked. Then I swam. Then I walked.

The third time, I was really weak but I had good insurance and access, so I got a prescription for PT, and I went to a sports medicine place for 6 months. When I "graduated" I got a regimen of exercises to do on my own to stay in shape.

With or without a PT, the idea was the same each time: start really small, deal with the pain issue (heat, ice, massage, whatever works), do exercise that doesn't aggravate the pain (swim, walk, cycle), set *gradually* larger goals, and watch inspiring movies and read inspiring books to keep yourself going. Maybe join a club of some sort for the social aspect, if you can find one where you won't feel left behind by the more fit people. And if you have setbacks, back up a bit and start over. Because in the words of Rocky Balboa, "It's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up."

And now that I am "normal," I've set my sites higher, and am looking into what I can do next, because I want to have *fun* living inside a body- wouldn't it be great to celebrate living in a body, not just try to tune it out all the time?  It's certainly what I did before the illness struck. So what's next? Tap dance lessons? Aerobic dance? Soccer club? My plan this year is to explore some of these until I find something fun. I think that is what a lot of normal people do.

What does being diagnosed with a serious disease mean to you?

What does being diagnosed with a serious disease mean to you?

This is a really interesting question, and oddly, one no doctor has ever asked me.

Talk about a great open-ended question. If you're at a cocktail party and want to get someone else to handle the bulk of the talking (specifically someone who has been diagnosed with something serious at some point in life), this question will let you off the hook for a good half hour. Come to think of it, I guess that explains why doctors don't ask that question.

So what does it mean to me? At first, it meant an escape from an unhappy life and a fresh start. Then, it meant a choice between either working constantly at being healthy or just giving up and taking drugs and powering through, settling for less than optimal health and not looking my best. Now, finally, it means achieving balance between taking care of myself and taking care of everything else. But I know this now: I have to put myself first, or there won't be any of me to put anywhere else.

read what other lupus patients had to say about this question at the Lupie Log:
http://tinyurl.com/4pbe8e4


Carla Ulbrich, The Singing Patient
_______________________________
Humorous songwriter, Speaker, and Author of "How Can You *Not* Laugh at a Time Like This?" Get the book: http://tinyurl.com/348hroc

hear the songs: http://www.thesingingpatient.com

Believable Affirmations

Some of you have probably already heard about affirmations.
Many people suggest using affirmations to create change in your life, whether it be improving your health, your relationships, your financial position, your weight, stopping a habit such as smoking, etc.

I remember when I first heard the idea of affirmations. It was in church. We were supposed to "name it and claim it." In other words, you would just declare out loud repeatedly all day long things like "I am incredibly healthy! I have all the riches in the world! I am thin and gorgeous!" The idea being to make statements that represented not where you actually were in life, but where you wanted to be. And that this version of you already existed in the spirit realm, you just needed to claim it for it to manifest in the material world.

OK, that's the idea. Here's the reality, for me, when trying to make statements that are the exact opposite of my everyday reality.
"I am wealthy and have abundance"
My brain mocks me: "You are an idiot. Look at your checking balance."
"I am in perfect health"
My body "Oh yeah? Well, *I* am in pain and I'm not letting you forget it"
My brain chimes in "Yeah and I saw your lab tests"

How do we deal with this committee in our heads?

Let's just look at the definition of affirmation, shall we?
[af-er-mey-shuhn]

–noun

1. the act or an instance of affirming; state of being affirmed.

2.assertion that something exists or is true.

3. something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true.

4. confirmation or ratification of the truth or validity of a prior judgment, decision, etc.
5. Law. a solemn declaration accepted instead of a statement under oath.

And that is the problem- part of me knows this stuff just is not true. And maybe it's true in a spirit realm, yada-yada-yada, but the rest of me is just too immersed in the real world and my years of experience to the contrary to shout out things that couldn't be less true. All is does, frankly is tick me off and make me feel sorry for myself. And make me want to avoid church because I feel like a failure.

So... here are 2 more (in my mind) reasonable approaches:
1) keep doing this, and when your mind objects, tell it "I know it isn't true yet, but I'm giving you instructions. I'm programming you about how things are going to be in the future.

2) if that doesn't work, try using what I like to call "believable affirmations." These are things that, instead of being 180 degrees off from reality, are instead just a few degrees off.
For example instead of "I am living in total abundance and am wealthy beyond measure" how about "I am still living indoors." "I still can afford groceries" Those things are true, and in some parts of the world, would make me very wealthy. I celebrate the things that are going right, however small, and work my way up to the bigger things. No one goes into the weight room and on their first visit, tries to lift the heaviest weights. (OK, a few guys do, but they're morons). Reasonable people, people setting themselves up for success instead of failure, start small, achieve small successes, build confidence and take a next, slightly bigger step.

I encourage you to start small, but when you find yourself thinking about lack, about things that are bumming you out, and all that you do not have, challenge yourself to say a believable affirmation, even if it's "well I'm not the biggest jerk that ever walked the earth."
Try it. Let me know how it works for you.

Carla Ulbrich, The Singing Patient, is a comedic songwriter and the author of "How Can You *Not* Laugh at a Time Like This," available now at:
amazon.com: http://tinyurl.com/348hroc
http://www.tellmepress.com
http://www.thesingingpatient.com

guest blog: Lupus and filing for Social Security Disability or SSI

Today we have a guest blog from an expert! Tim Moore, a former medicaid-disability caseworker, sent in this article for the blog on filing for disability when you have lupus (SLE):

Systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) or simply lupus is evaluated in the immune system section of the Disability Evaluation Under Social Security disability handbook, more commonly known as the blue book. Although there is a specific listing for lupus (SLE) in the Social Security disability handbook (listing 14.02), in a real sense no specific disability criteria has been established for lupus.

Unfortunately, lupus is an exacerbating and remissing autoimmune disorder that attacks different body systems or multiple body systems simultaneously with each exacerbation. Lupus causes a wide range of functional limitations that are dependent upon the body system or organs that have been affected. Consequently, Social Security evaluates the functional limitations imposed by lupus under a variety of other impairments depending upon which body system or systems are affected.

Functional limitations caused by lupus are evaluated under other impairment listing sections that address impairments of the following body systems: joints, muscles, ocular, respiratory, cardiovascular, digestive, renal, hematological, skin, neurological, or brain (mental). This simply means that to be approved for Social Security disability benefits for lupus an individual must meet the criteria established for the body system affected by lupus. For example, an individual with neurological involvement must meet the criteria contained within the neurological listing.

If an individual does not meet the criteria established for their particular manifestation of lupus symptoms, they still may be able to receive Social Security disability if the following is true:

A) Their lupus condition involves two body systems or organs to a lesser extent, and at least one of the body systems or organs is affected by an impairment that is at least moderately severe.

B) The individual is experiencing severe documented constitutional symptoms and signs such as weight loss, joint pain and stiffness, fever, extreme tiredness, or malaise.

Immune system disorders are covered in section 14.00, which has two parts, A and B, that elaborate on just how Social Security evaluates various immune system disorders.

Part A of the immune system section states that the impairment listed in Section 14.00 must involve some sort of deficiency of one or more parts of the immune system, and the listing goes on to list various cell types and antibodies that may be involved.

Part B of the immune system section states that irregularities in the immune system may cause the development of connective tissue disorders. Generally, connective tissue disorders are chronic multiple body system disorders, which vary in manifestation, course, and prognosis. Connective tissue disorders generally cause a loss in body function and often require long term care that involves frequent medical evaluation and treatment.

Since we know what a connective tissue disorder is, we can take a look at what type of documentation Social Security requires for a medical determination.

Social Security uses medical history, lab studies, medical imaging (x-ray, MRI, CT scans, etc.), and even biopsies to establish the existence, duration, and severity of an individual’s lupus condition. If an individual does not have enough medical information, Social Security may purchase non-invasive tests such as imaging or blood work to evaluate an individual’s condition (however they never purchase test that are considered risky or invasive i.e. angiograms or biopsies).

In addition to this type of medical documentation, Social Security requires a longitudinal treatment record of at least three months in order to establish that an active impairment exists in spite of prescribed treatment and that the condition is expected to last twelve months or more.

Why a twelve month period? If possible, Social Security uses a twelve month period to establish the severity and duration of an individual’s lupus. Social Security must also establish that the limitations imposed by lupus prevent an individual from performing substantial gainful work activity.

Individuals with lupus most often do not meet the requirements of a listing; however many may be awarded benefits based upon a medical vocational allowance.

Due to the nature of autoimmune disorders such as lupus, many claimants benefit from medical vocational allowances simply because Social Security considers an individual’s age, education, functional limitations, and work skills when making a medical disability determination on a claim.

The author of this article is Tim Moore, a former medicaid-disability caseworker and a former disability claims examiner for the social security administration's DDS, or disability determination services. Tim Moore is the publisher of The Social Security and Disability Resource Center.

rated PG 13?

OK I admit it. I'm a wimp.
These days I can barely sit through a PG 13 movie without getting freaked out by the violence. It's a weird double-standard, too. I mean, show a naked boobie and it's rated R. Show someone stabbing a naked boobie? Oh, that's OK. Rated PG.
What on earth are we teaching our kids- and society?

I don't have any kids, but I need to protect my own psyche!
I have literally run out of the theater because the movie was so violent it freaked me out. Once, a friend brought me to a movie called "mimic"- science fiction, about genetic engineering, he said. "Oh it sounds smart." It was about COCKROACHES! I looked at him about halfway through and said "Are you enjoying this?" He goes "YEAH!" "Well," i said, "meet you in the lobby."

Thankfully, there are some resources out there now where you can find out ahead of time what you're in for at the movies before you go. Like Movie Mom:
Check here before going to the movies for warnings on violence, etc.:
http://blog.beliefnet.com/moviemom/